Miss. Stratebacke: “So, she is not a good servant - she stole everything and used dreadful language when she was tipsy, and smashed everything, but I feel I cannot turn her adrift upon the world - I have decided to give her another chance.”
 Visitor: “Good gracious! You don’t mean to say you are going to keep her?”
 Miss. Stratebacke: “On bless me no! Not for worlds! But I have given her a very good character to a lady who called today.”

 Lady (engaging new housemaid) “Daphne! That is much too romantic a name, with young men in the house. I suppose you would not object.”
 Lady: “What is your surname?”
 Applicant: “Oh, no ma’am; in fact. I’m quite used to it.”
 Lady: “What is your surname?”
 Applicant: “Darling.”