FUN, FACTS, AND FANCIES.

INTERESTING ITEMS.

Cotton of twelve different colours grows in Peru.

The richest man in England is the DUKE OF WESTMINSTER.

The oldest tree in the British Isles is the Brabourne yew, in Kent, 3,000
years old.

There are more theatres in proportion to its population in Italy than
elsewhere in the world.

The largest known tree is in California.  It is 275 ft. high and 106 ft. in
circumference at the base.

Spain has more sunshine than any other country in Europe, the yearly average
being 3,000 hours.

The Crystal Palace, Sydenham, accommodates more people than any other
building in the world - it will hold 100,000 people.

The two biggest fire engines in the world are in Liverpool;  they can throw
1800 gallons of water a minute and a jet 140 feet high.

There is a herb growing on Mount Lebanon and in the surrounding country
which is said to stain a bright yellow the teeth of all animals that feed
upon it.

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HE KNEW HIS MAN.

Editor:  " Why did you not print that smart article of SPOONER's about the
cracked millionaire scattering money along the streets ? "

Sub-editor:  " I saw through it.  If it had been true, SPOONER would never
have written it. "

" Why not ? "

"He would have been walking after the millionaire instead. "

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NO TIME GOING TO WASTE.

"Willie, what does that man want out there in the hall ?"

"He's waiting to see you, but he says there's no hurry."

"How long has he been there ?"

"About half-an-hour."

"Who is he ?"

"He's the plumber.  He's come to do some work you spoke to him about the
other day, but he says he'll wait till you're --what are you hurrying for
papa ?"

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ROUGH ON THE LAWYER.

Country Client:  "Look here, MR. SCREWEM, I want you to write a threatening
letter to a man up our way for £10 he owes me."
Lawyer:  "How long has he owed it to you ?"
"Over a year.  I've written dozens of letters to him, but he won't pay up."
"Have you applied to him personally ?"
"Rather:  every time I see him.  Why I saw him in town this morning, and
when I asked him for the money, he became abusive and told me to go to the
devil."
"And, what did you do then ?"
"Oh, I came to you."
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UMPIRE WENT HOME.

The half-wit of our village knew very little about cricket, but, as we were
short-handed, we took him with us as umpire.
We had first innings, and were unfortunate enough to lose two good bats in
the first over.  In half-an-hour six wickets were down.
    When the seventh man came in , the bails had disappeared, and after
searching in vain, our Sammy found them in his pocket.  As he brought them
forth with a pitiful look, he pointed to the bowler and said, "Tain't na use
o' putting them on again.  That chap keeps knocking 'em off every time.  I'm
going home."
    And he went.
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SHE GOT IT.

An amusing incident recently occurred at a grocer's shop.  The packets of
tea exhibited in the windows of the shop in question are dummies, made of
wood.
    A lady who wanted some tea, refused a packet from those kept in racks
behind the counter, as she said they were different from those in the
window.  The manager, recognising the fact that she would only accept those
from the window, was forced to gratify her wishes.
    The packet was duly wrapped and the money was taken, but the purchaser
was evidently ashamed of herself, as she never returned the block of wood,
for which she had paid tenpence, the price of half a pound of tea.
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THOUGHT HE WANTED EXERCISE.

Stranger (who has yelled himself hoarse over Jink's telephone, without
getting a reply):  "See here, I can't do anything with this telephone."

Jinks (with an air of innocence):  "Did you wish to speak to anyone, sir ?"

"Oh !  It has been disconnected for about a month."

"Disconnected ?  You didn't say anything about it."

"I thought everyone knew we had disconnected our telephone on account of the
bores.  I didn't know you wished to talk to any one sir.  I supposed you
merely desired to exercise your lungs."

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ENTIRELY TOO FORMAL.

Dolly Swift:  "Young Mr. Pensmith, the editor of the "Weekly Visitor", has
just made me a written offer of marriage."
Sally Gay:  "He is a handsome fellow.  What will be your answer, dear?"
Dolly Swift:   "He is handsome, I'll admit; but I shall be forced to decline
him with thanks.  He's too horridly business-like.  After requesting an
early answer, he added:
    ' Please write abriefly, to the point, and upon one side of the paper.
Sign your full name, not for publication, but merely as a guarantee of good
faith, and do not forget to enclose a postage stamp if you desire a reply. '
    "Sally, a man like kthat would calmly smoke while the baby fell
downstairs."
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A WONDERFUL LAKE.

Among curious things is a crop of corn which grows in a field actually
covering a subterranean lake.  At one time it was an open body of water, on
which was accumulated vegetable matter, which had been increased from time
to time, until now it has a crust sufficiently strong and rich to produce
fine corn., though it has to be cultivated by hand, as it is not strong
enough to bear the weight of a horse.
    While idling, the field hands catch great strings of fish by merely
punching a hole through the earth.  A person rising on his heel and coming
down suddenly can see the growing corn shake all around him.
    Anyone having the strength to drive a rail through this crust will find
on releasing it that it will disappear altogether.  The fish caught here
differ from others in not having eyes or scales;  in shape, they are
perch-like.
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A KNOTTY PROBLEM.

"Why, Ethel, what are you doing with that big medical work on your lap !"
"Well, Arabella, you'd never guess.  I am quite sure."
"You are not going to make a physician of yourself, are you ?"
"Not at all.  I am trying to find out which of my two suitors I love enough
to marry.  What do you think of that ?"
"How can a cyclopaedia of medicine help you ?"
"Well, it's this way.  Mr. Oldspoon is 57 years of age.  He is worth £80,000
and has consumption.  Mr. Dukkats is 65 years old.  He is worth £100,000,
and has heart disease.  I thought perhaps this medical book would help me to
make up my mind.
    I have about decided that I love Mr. Dukkats the better. Which would you
love ?"