HANDLING A TENNESSEE CROWD.
A Michigan man who has a patent windmill went down to Tennessee last fall to see what he could do among the farmers of that state. Reaching a town in the central part of that state, he went to a dealer in agricultural implements and stated his desire to erect his machine and call attention to it.
"Well, it can be done, I guess." was the reply.
"But how had i best proceed?"
"Well you can put her up over on the hill thar. I don't know who owns the ground, but if you treat the crowd I guess no one will object."
Next Tuesday is market day, and there'll be heaps of folks in town. you want to be around early and treat the crowd."
"Set the old thing going and ask the boys over to drink something."
"You want to stand on a bar'l and make some explainations, of course, for it will be new to most of 'em. But don't talk too long. Make it about ten minutes and then trat the crowd."
"If you have to talk anymore, tell 'em there's another drink ahead."
"If the old man Jones comes in with his boys there'll be a row in the crowd. They'll shoot on sight. Keep your eye peeled, and if you see any signs of a row ask the whole crowd out for a drink."
"Yea, but ---"
"Look out for dog fights. If one takes place you can't hold the boys a minute. Keep your eye on the canines. If you see a yaller purp begin to bristle up ask thecrowd to step over and moisten."
"Yes but by that time the crowd will be drunk," protested the agent.
"Sartin it will, and that's what you want, of course. That will give you a chance to skip out and take your life along with you, and if you make a stop anywhere within a hundred miles I'll send the windmill by freight - provided there's anything left to send! Nothing like knowing how to handle a Tennessee crowd, my friend. Did you ask me out to tak sunthin?"
Tennessee War Cry.