ANECDOTE COMPETITION.
part 2.


******

Eskdale and its "rat trod" railway is acquiring quite an extended
reputation. It is related that some weeks ago one of the dale female residents had
occasion to visit Whitehaven, and was overtaken as she was journeying alongside
the line by the celebrated pigmy engine and carriages. The driver, with his
usual courtesy, pulled up and asked the woman if she cared to ride the rest
of the way. His abashment was as great as the passenger's amusement on her
answering him:

"Noa, maister; I'se in a hurry to-day!"

E. A. HARTLEY,
24, Albert-street, Workington.


******

A grocer once tried to impress his apprentice with the point that if they
did not happen to have the article which the customer wanted he must substitute
another. He must effect a sale, if possible. The boy paid great attention,
and determined to act according to instructions. One day a customer came into
the shop and asked for a pound of barley. The apprentice knew that they had
sold all the barley, so he said:

"We don't happen to have any barley at present. Will treacle do?"

Maggie PROUD,
Main-street, Hensingham.


******

An Irishman, with a sprained ankle, once presented himself before the
Infirmary doctor at Whitehaven. The doctor examined the ankle, and wrote out a
prescription for a lotion, telling the Irishman to rub his ankle with it every
night and morning. Soon afterwards Pat re-appeared, with a piece of paper soiled
and worn, which he offered to the doctor, saying at the same time:

"I have brought back your medicine, doctor, I used it as ye told me to, and
it cured me entirely. Good luck to ye."

Andrew FINLAY,
Main-street, Hensingham.


******

A gentleman near Maryport wanted to purchase a donkey for his young children
to learn to ride upon. Meeting a boy, with a good looking ass, drawing a
cart laden with coal, he called out:

"Stop, you boy, Whose ass is that?"

"Its nut ass at o', its a mow cwol," was the reply.

J. IRWIN,
Pennington Arms, Hotel, Ravenglass.


******