ANECDOTE COMPETITION.


******

Some of Sir Wilfrid LAWSON's tenants in Cumberland were being entertained
one day at dinner. Naturally, when one bears in mind the strong temperance
views which Sir Wilfrid is known to hold, no spiritous liquor appeared on the
table. There were instead aerated waters, lemonade, ginger beer, and milk for
such as liked them.

One of the farmers who knew by experience what to expect, had provided
himself with a flask of rum, and, unknown to a brother farmer who sat next to him,
he poured a generous quantity into the glass of milk which his neighbour had
elected to drink. In due time the unsuspecting farmer put the glass to his
lips, and seemed to enjoy it so that he never stopped till he had finished it.
Then he turned to his friend and remarked,

"Heck! mon Tummas, what a coo!"

J. WILSON,
46, Newtown, Whitehaven.


******

A school master in a village not far from Moor Row was so enthusiastic over
politics that he began to give lessons on them in his class. He did not get
on very well at first, but at length the scholars began to have a tolerable
idea of politics.

"Now Johnnie," asked the school master in the course of one lecture, "would
you rather have a republican or the present form of Government?"

"The present form of Government," replied Johnnie.

"Why would you rather have the present form of Government?"

"Because I wadna get a holiday on the Queen's Jubilee if it was a Repbulic."

Willie LANCASTER
20, Church-street, Moor Row.


******