Remarked Brother Gardner of the Limekiln Club, “I fur one, hev been pained  
to observe a growin’ desire on de part o’ cull’d folkes to knock deir chill’
en  down wid silver-plated front names. Up in my block ebery cabin hez a
Hortense,  or a Maud, or a Genevieve, who will grow up to go barefoot in summer an’
bend  over de washtub in winter.

I believe dat half what ails de (N-word) nowadays am deir fancy names. I  
tell you dey am a powerful burden for a chile to carry. No young gal wid a big  
foot an’ a mouf like a sassar am gwine to look any opurtier fur bein’ called  
Cleopatra Viva Clarabell. No, sah. Ize a believer in de good old fashun names,
 sich as Polly, Dinah, Sam, Tom and Jim. Dar’s sunthin’ squar’ an’ honest
in ‘em,  an’ dey weigh sixteen ounces to de pound. Dis kentry am tryin’ to get
rid of  ‘em, an’ banks are bustin’ men stealin,’ towns burnin’ up, and
tornadies  sweepin’ o’er de land.

I tell ye, an honest straight forward name is half to’rds keeping’ a chile  
honest, an’ if I kept a grocery store I’d trust Moses all day long, an keep
boaf  eyes on Adolphus!”