- Details
- Transcribed by unknown author unknown author
- Edition: November 3rd 1882 November 3rd 1882
be out of bed for six months after, and I wasn’t to know what it will cost
me.”
So said a man who entered a Griswold - street law office yesterday, and it
was plain to be seen that his dander was way up.
“Let’s see,” mused the lawyer. “I’ll defend you for $10.00. If you lick
him in a first - class manner your fine will be about $25.00. Then there will
be a few dollars cost, say enough to make the whole thing foot up to $40.00.
I think that I can safely promise that it won’t cost you over that.”
“Forty dollars! Forty dollars for licking a man! Why, I can’t go that!”
“Well, pull his nose then. The last case I had of that sort the fine was
only $15.00. That will reduce the gross sum to $30.”
“I want to tear him all to pieces, but I can’t afford to pay like that for
the fun. How much will it cost to spit on him?”
“Well, that’s an assault, you know, but the fine might not be over $10.00.
I guess $25 would see you through.”
“Lands! How I do want to crush that man! Suppose I knock his hat off?”
“Well, about $20 will cover that.”
“I can hardly hold myself, but $20 is pretty steep. Can’t I call him a
liar?”
“Oh yes, I think $15 will cover that.”
“Well, I’ll see about it. I’m either going to call him a liar or else tell
everybody that he is not a gentleman, or else give him an awful pounding. I’
ll see you again.”
“My fee is $5.00, observed the lawyer.”
“What for!”
“For my advice.”
The pulverizer glared at him for a half a minute, and then laid down a “V”
and started slowly out with the remark:
“I’m going straight to that man and beg his pardon, and tell him that I am
the biggest fool in Detroit! Thank Heaven that you didn’t get but one claw
on me.”
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